Tuesday, March 13, 2012
I'M nOt hArD tO UndsTAnD...iT'S juZ tT i DUn WAn tO eXprEss...
mY sEnSEs iS sO aCcURaTe Tt i SomEtiMEs hAtEd iT tO BE...bECoZ i CAn FEel...WhEneVEr sOmEthInG iS gOINg WRonG...oNcE i sEE i cAn GUAGE,EVEntHouGh i Do nOT wAN tO...
i'VE ALwAyS tRy tO UnDERStAnd oThERs pOiNT oF vIeW bUT iN The eND i WAS tAkEn AdVAnTAGes oF...i DUn ActUAllY tRUSt anyoNE...dO u noE?bUT StIll i'Ll tRy mY bESt tO hElp...SOmEtImEs i fElT sTupID fOR bEinG kInD...
My BiRtHdAY juZ pAss, AS uSuAL i dID nOT CElEbRATE...nO cAKE, nO CANDLE gOT nOThiNG...buT noE WAt i 'M uSED tO iT noT bEOZ i wAn tO...jUZ tt i dUn wAnnA dEmAnD.
thE NExT dAY oF mY bIrthDAy....i wAS AWAkEn by a CoNVErSAtiOn bEtWeen mY DAd N bRo...mY hEARt sANk WhEn i HeaRD mY DAd toLD hIM tT AmOnG thE 4 oF US hE aCTuALly noE tt hE iS thE mOST unfAIr tO mE...and fOR thE 3 oF thEm, thEy gOT mOSt oF thE thiNGS thEy wAN...whiLE i moSt oF thE tiME gOT noThiNG...hE'S EVeRy tHiNG WAs lImITEd...cOulDn'T sATiFY ALl oF uS sO nATuAlLy i bEcAme thE onE bEiNG lEft oUT...
I WAS ACTuALLy cRyING, i THoUGHT hE hAD nOT kNoWn hOW i fEel liKE ALl thE yRs...
HE sAId if Ah GiRl(mE) tolD him theSE, hE WIlL fEEl GuiLty...bUT noT WHEn bRo tRiES tO cOmPAre...
BECoZ i'M SEEm StRoNG EnOuGh, i WAS lEFT oUT...bUT dO u nOE oN mY SiDE hOW WAs iT liKE fOR mE? i nV ExPeCT anyoNe bECoZ eVEn iN mY oWn fAMiLY it'S alreaDy lIkE TT...WaT mORE cAN i ExpECT fOR oTHEr PPL? SO nOW i dUn likE to Tok...i hV nOThING tO say, i CAn'T sPEak wElL bEcoZ i nOE AloT oF thiNGS yEt nOT EVERythiNG CAN bE saID...SoME PPl ASkEd mE WhERe R mY fRiEnDs? 1 pErSoN nOT sIAn MEh? i CAN AcTuALly tEll u cAN i CAn...nOT i wAnt TO BUT bEcOZ i'M usEd tO IT...wHO DUN WAN To HAvE fRiEnDs,whO DuN WAnT To BE hApPY, WHO wAN tO bE STRONG WhEn u ACtuAlLY hV tO ExChANGE iT uSinG uR hApPiNESs?
i ASkEd mYsElF iF i CoULD SmIlE moRE...liKE hOW i uSEd To BE EvEn WHEn i sAW AloT oF thinGS n ReAlISEd TT ACtuALLy i cAn'T, inStEAd i GET mORE sHoRTEmpER...iSsiT TT i Hv EnDuRE unTiL ThERe's nO mORE SpACe oR WAT?! iF thE SAME ThiNG hAppEnS oN anY oThEr pPl CoUlD THEy hAVE bReAKdOwn LoNG AgO? y dO i THinK So mUcH?
n nOE wAT AmoNG ALl i DiSlikE PPl WHo dUn PuT thEiR SAYInG iNTo ACTions...iF u CAn'T Do Dun Say...SaY liAO plS fUlfil...noT JuS eMpTy ToK...CoZ All iS of no USe.
AND noE WAT? u'VE JuZ mISsEd A TReAsURE~
i JuZ WAN tO bE hAppY...sO plS sToP tESTiNG mE...
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tHe dAy pAsT...tHkZ 4 ReAdiNg ;
Saturday, March 3, 2012
WhAT iS thiS?!
FiNalLY i CAN sMiLE tHE wHoLE dAy...i FelT lIke smIliNG thE whOlE dAY...PerHApS aLl oF iT iS nO loNGEr iMpORTAnT tO ME ANyMorE So i hAD jUmP oUT fRm thaT StuPID mESs N sAY bYEZzz mEsSEs! GEt loSt! LolX...=D
U nOE tHAt iT'S sOmEhoW StIlL VEri FUnnY ThAT thE mAgNETiC fORCeS iS tRYiNg To mAKE fUN oF mE mAYb...WHEN U dUn WAnnA sEe u jUz KEpT SeeinG~tEStiNG mY pAtiENcE & "rEn nAI" kuNGfU...HAIz...bUT lUCkIlY i fElT lEssEr N lEssER aS DAYs GoEs By...i wIlL nOT hIDE anYMoRE...i WiLL jUz WAlK mY WAY, bEiNG iT AcROSs, pAss, sTrAIgHT, CrUVE...=P
ANYwAY iT'S tHEre buT i DuN cArE aNymORE...nOT MEAnT tO BE bAH...so i jUZ hOPE tHAT GoD WiLl lEt mE oFf tOo...sToP tESTiNG mE...bE hApPY AlWAyS! JiA yOU QIUYUE!!!
YeAH~!
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tHe dAy pAsT...tHkZ 4 ReAdiNg ;
Friday, February 3, 2012
OFficiallY enD...
It'S tHE eND yUEZz...sTOp dReAminG...iT wAS nV REAL...LET gO bAH N bE hApPiER oK?!
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tHe dAy pAsT...tHkZ 4 ReAdiNg ;
Wednesday, January 25, 2012
Baby Ryan's Baby Shower.REuNIOn DiNnEr & CNY 2012 n WRKiNg!
21st Jan 2012...(actually date should be 24th Jan)
Was working grave shift so only end work in the morning...lEss thEn 5 hRs oF slEep...wEnT down tHerE tO SEe bAbY ryAN...
Let the pictures talk...
afTer tHaT weNt IMM tO eAT aJiSEn RAmEn...thEN wEnT to WrK aGaiN...
REuNion DiNnEr...22nD JAn 2012
@ Nex Soup ReSturanT...
oSo LEss ThEn 6 HRs oF SlEEp...althouGh wE wEnT at thE eVenING~=.=~tIrEd!
1St DAy CNY...
ChEoM SuM iS a ThEmE...
VIsITeD 3 plAcEs bUt nV gEt tO sEE aLot oF pPl liKe BEfORe...All mEALs R StEAMBOAT...LoLx...
WiShEd EvERyoNE HV a gReAT NEw YeAR...=)
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tHe dAy pAsT...tHkZ 4 ReAdiNg ;
Thursday, January 19, 2012
ClEArIng StuFfs...
CHiNeSe nEW yeAr iS hErE agAIN N b4 thAt iT'S sPriNG cLeaNInG tImE...dIG alL thE cOrnERs whEn i hAD noT tOuch fOR a yEAr N FoUNd lOTs oF SURpRises...sOME wErAe stiLl aS bEaUtiFuL aS eVEr =)...i OSo fOUnD mY DS LitE whICh i dUnO whEre iT wEnT fOR vEri lONG...lOlX
FounD alOT oF mY cUTE nOTEBoOks i UsEd tO WriTE tHiNGs iN...wAy b4 i start wriTING iN thiS bLoG...startEd rAnDoM wRiTiNG sinCe 2001...i gUess thiS iS hOW iT goEs...
2001-nOW-> nOTebOoks (tHiNGs ThAt iS sOmetimEs UNSAId)
2007-nOW->BlOG N FacEboOk (ThINGs i wOULd lIKE tO sAy)
aLl mY rAnDoM wriTinGs...wAt hAD hAPpEnEd...abit HEre N tHEre...pArT N pArCEl oF mE...togEthER witH alL mY tEchICaL gAgEts e.g CAmErA, lAPtoPs...I hAD nV sToP WritiNG...
ThE moSt rEcEnt cUTE thIngs i GoT iS DiS....N i lUV iT <3
ThIS wouLD hElP mE tO cAptuRe iNstAnT mEmoRies N plAceD tHEm iN thE nOTeboOKS =)
I'M jUZ a rAnDoM WriTEr...
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tHe dAy pAsT...tHkZ 4 ReAdiNg ;
Friday, December 30, 2011
Crazy Weeks...loSt cOUNt
sO maNy tHiNgs hAppEned...i ThoUGht is gd ThiNgs eNDs uP to bE thE wOrSt...i wAS sEriOuSly HurT eMoTiOnAlLy bUT sAmE tHinGs aS uSuAl i dUn hV muCh pLAcEs tO thROW EvEryThinG...sO oNCe aGAIN i aM sICk...pERhApS iT rEalLy iS An ENDiNG, evEn tHough i gOT fUll oF qnS mARkS oF wAt eXACtlY wEnT wRoNG...tHiNG gOt WoRSt wHen i tRy tO ASkEd...i fElT sUpER UnFAIr n wAS bOiliNG tOo...kEEp tHinkIng wAt wRonG i'Ve dONe To dEsERvE thEsE...bUt sTILl i GEt nO ANsWer...
I'M nOT intErEStEd iN pESteRiNG anyOnE oK...i aSk qnS tO gET aNSwEr n oF cOZ i ExpEct aN AnSWEr if i aSk qnS iF nOT i aSk fOR wAT? I'M oso vEry seNSItive If I senSe SoMeTHING WrONg Tt'S i dUN wIsh tO bE hAnG aT soMEwHERe wHErE i dUNO wHERE Am I...yET i wAs tuRn iNTo a foOL...diSsaPoInTIng is wat i fEEl ultmatElY cOz i hAd tRIEd sO haRd n eVERyTHiNG sTilL wEnT wRoNG...nOW cHANGiNG mY mINdset oF iT wAS nOT mEANT tO bE iS ALL i cAn dO noW...i JuS hoPE tO fORgET ThESE pAIn =(
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tHe dAy pAsT...tHkZ 4 ReAdiNg ;
Tuesday, October 25, 2011
Haunting dreams...
cOuldn'T slEep pRopeRlY these fEW wEeks cOZ oF all thEsE weIrd dReAm i haD...
DrEAms 1
I wAS oN mY wAY hOmE aND alIghted fRm thE buS...thE SuRrOuNdINg wAs quiEt n i wAS aLoNe iN frOnt oF tHe rEseRvoiR...i walK tOWArds thE reSErvOir juZ likE wAt i wouLD dO whEn i fElt tRoubLed...buT thIS tImE it bEcOmE tOo quIEt...no1 wAs joggIng aT thE tImInG whIch wAS UnuSuAL, it bEcAmE fOGgy anD i heaRd dOgS bArkiNG...wHEn i gEt tO cLear mY eyeS thEre wAs 2 dOGs bARkiNg lOudly anD a tIgEr wAS nEAr tHEm...tHE tIGEr wAs quIet AnD iT sAw mE...i dID noT nOe thE dogS weRe tRyiNg tO waRn mE or wILl gOiNg tO chaSe mE tOo n i tuRned to RuN away acRoSs thE rOaD juZ in cAse aNY of thEm chAsE mE...aFtEr i cRoSs rOAd n wAlK inTo my nEigHbOurhood tHErE wAS fIvE fUnErAls goinG oN...i hEaRd thaT thE tigeR kIlled tHEm aT thE resErVoIr....sOmE r juZ kiDs...n tt thE tiGEr diDn'T mAnAGE to croSs thE rOAD...i tHEn wokE uP...
(ReAliTy: Up tO tODAy...tHErE iS a fIfTh boDiEs fOuNd at BeDoK rEserVoiR...tt wAs rEsEvoIr i'M aT in MY dreAMs...there r kids...)
DrEAm 2
I wAs oN a tRAnSpORt, thEre wAs thiS liTtlE giRl sTiCkIng tO mE, i dUno WhO iS sHE buT bEcOz sHE'S veRy cUTe sO i jUz plAy wIf hEr...buT AS usuAl i dUn rEAllY dAre tO cArry babiEs sO i wAS scArE bUT sTiLl i thEn rEAlizE i wAs iN mY dReAms cOZ sHE twIsteD heR herself nOT lIkE a noRmAl pErsON coUlD wHEn i coUlDn't cArrY hEr pRopERlY tO pRevEnT hErsElf fRm fAllInG n sIGnAl tO mE Tt sHE'S oKay, n sMilE sWeeTly...wE plAY fOr a WhIlE n somEonE brING hEr aWAy...guess shE hAd rEachEd HEr sToP anD aliGhtEd...
(ReALiTy: thE tWo yEArs oLd tODdlE wAnG yUE pASs aWaY tHE dAy aFTEr mY dReAmS...i wAS hoPINg fOR sOmE miRicAl aFtEr i'VE sEen hER nEWs...hOw crUeL thINgS cAN bE?!)
dReAm 3
It WAs nIghtImE n i wAs in thE mIddlE oF a chAsinG scEne...wAs cHase bY soME gUys whO tRiES tO kill mE anD sOmE ppl i dUno n wE fIgHTed...cAuGht sOmE of thEm n hAnDcuFf tHEm tO eAcH oThEr...i WAs aT mY olD hSe vOiD dEck anD surroUnDiNg fLATs wEre the kilLErs...onE whO wAS hAnDcuFfeD bY mE mAnagE tO gEt a gUN n fIrE aT mE...buT tHEre wAS nO bUllEt iN iT...n i gRin somEhOw i kNEw tt thE guN wAs nOt lOAdEd...the EnEmY iS oVEr aT thE rOoFtOp oF tHE oPpoSiTe bLoCk n bulLeTs wEre fLYiNg eVErywHEre...i killed the one acRoSs n aNothEr onE aPpEAR wITh a moRe dEAdly wEapOn but i duno how to sPell tt thiNg...i flEe AsAp doWn tO tHE anD thE fLAt exploDEd...i mAnAGed tO eScApE buT oN tHE wAY i sEE all tHE sURroUdING bEiNg dEstRoYed n pPl r aLl dYiNg...yEt alL i cOuLD wAS tO RuN anD gOT tO a pLAcE tt noBoDy WILl rUN toWARds n i wAs leFt all AloNE...no WaY of rEtuRN n gOing tOwArdS thE dArKNess iNfRont oF mE...sOmEwHeRe no1 cAn enter n i nOe i'M sAfE...
(ReaLIty: tHEsE iS juZ mY miND tElliNg mE tt i'M alWAYs ruNNiNg AwaY fRm thiNg i haTE tO sEe hAppEniNG anD iT thE pRoCess i loSt aloT oF things eVeNtHouGh i'M tRyinG mY bESt tO pRoTEct mYsElf...sO wAT iF i'M sAfE? thEre wAs nOtHIng lEfT iN mE...)
i wAS suRpRiSe oF wAT i cAN mAkE oUt fRm mY dreamS n iT'S wAS reaLLI cREepY aS i rEalISed tt iT rElATes tO tHE thiNgS tt hAppEn rEcEntly...iT mAyb jUz mY brAIn gEneraTiNg uNecESsAry thoughT buT iS thE tImiNg sOmEhoW...i dUnO hOw tO eXplAIn...
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tHe dAy pAsT...tHkZ 4 ReAdiNg ;
